Supermarket shoppers and Muller yoghurts

People become interesting when in supermarkets. What they put in their trolleys is a reflection of who they are (I like to think). While I’m shopping, I’m also weighing up what my trolley says about me – last night I had chillies, ginger, onion, spinach, chapatis, tomatoes, free range eggs and semi skimmed milk and two small cream cakes (well everyone needs a treat and they did have strawberries on top). I imagine other people nosing in thinking ‘hmmm…she’s going to make a curry’ or ‘wtf is that weird thing (the ginger)’ or ‘why doesn’t she put her onion in a plastic bag’. Of course they’re not thinking any of those things, but I imagine they are.

I’m a supermarket snob and turn my nose up at the fat people in there loading up their trolleys with x24 bags of crisps, white bread and litres of coke while dragging round their podgy kids who are mindlessly wobbling round the aisles, narrowly missing hitting their heads on the end of my trolley (I’ll get them next time).

The best place to judge other people is at the conveyor belts. There you get a good sweep of the entire contents of their trolley and you can see how they pay. The woman paying when I got there was paying in a stack of twenty pound notes. She was scruffy, grey roots, a bum bag. I often wonder why people like that carry round wads of cash. It’s people like that who are secretly sitting on millions.

The next woman on the conveyor belt had basic bread, basic ketchup and some other items I can’t recall but I remember thinking she couldn’t possibly make a meal out of any of this. She also had 5 muller yoghurts. Not the Crunch Corner kind which are acceptable as a dessert instead of say, a big chocolate cake. Or plain yoghurt for cooking or to go with cereal. No, she had the banana and caramel basic yogurt. Pale, cold, sloppy slop. I’m not saying I don’t like yoghurt, but I can’t imagine ever spending money on this variety. I can’t imagine thinking ‘hmm I really want a banana and caramel muller yoghurt now, that’s going to satisfy my snacking urge’. Let’s face it, if you want a snack, you’re still going to want one after eating a tub of muller yoghurt.

After all this going through my mind, I look behind, and the people next in queue after me were loading up the conveyor belt with a whole crate of the same muller yoghurts! Maybe there was some kind of crazy offer going on, but even if they were free I don’t think I’d bother!